As a coach, I often find myself working with clients who, in one way or another, are facing phases of change.
Inevitably, a significant part of the coaching I do is focused on reducing resistance to change and facilitating the client in that direction.
Change is possible, but the process of change needs to be understood, processed and planned.
This is very different from daydreaming about change, or endlessly ruminating about it at a purely mental level.
In fact, those patterns are often part of the resistance itself.
What happens is that change can be perceived as a threat.
Our brain instinctively reacts to every deviation from what is familiar with an alarm signal. When something does not match what it expected, the error-detection system is activated, and this can trigger the amygdala: the centre associated with fear and strong emotional responses.
This activates the “fight or flight” response.
Within moments, large amounts of energy are taken away from the prefrontal cortex — the area involved in strategic thinking, creativity and learning — and redirected toward bodily functions essential for survival.
As a result, we lose clarity, reasoning ability and openness to change.
Suddenly, we feel nervous, irritated, agitated, irrational and afraid.
All at once, that change appears much bigger and far less achievable.
We have fallen into the trap.
Coaching, Neuroplasticity and Three Brains Intelligence
Coaching, especially when integrated with approaches such as Neuro Emotional Facilitation™ and Three Brains Intelligence©™, can become a space for transformation where new neural connections may be created.
According to Amy Brann, a neuroscience expert, the coach can be seen as a facilitator of neuroplasticity: someone who helps the client deactivate old automatic patterns and activate new ones that are more useful, healthier and more coherent with the person they are becoming.
In my approach, I also consider the interaction between the three “brains”:
Cranial Brain — Head Brain: logic, analysis, strategy
Cardiac Brain — Heart Brain: emotion, courage, authenticity
Enteric Brain — Gut Brain: instinct, safety, determination
Every authentic decision and every real change involves these three Centres of Intelligence.
Effective coaching is able to listen to and harmonise the voice of all three.
Habits and Resistance to Change
Habits, including dysfunctional ones that keep us in our comfort zone for a long time, are automatic responses that form when a specific action is repeated many times and associated with a reward.
Once consolidated, they no longer require conscious attention, and the Cranial Brain executes them in order to save energy.
This is how bad habits and resistance to change continue to be reinforced.
But this also means that behaviours that have become ineffective or harmful can remain deeply rooted, even when they no longer serve our development.
This is exactly where integrated work with the Three Brains becomes crucial: because real transformation happens when the mind is aligned with the heart and the gut.
Let me say it very clearly:
Facing change without alignment does not usually lead to good outcomes.
Facing Change: When the Brains Work Together
To face real change, alignment is needed between several brain areas and systems, including:
- the reward system;
- the prefrontal cortex;
- short-term and long-term memory centres;
- the error-detection system;
- the emotional register;
- the action circuits.
And it is also necessary to facilitate the alignment of the three brains: Head, Heart and Gut.
A targeted intervention, through coaching tools, NEF™ and Three Brains Intelligence©™, can facilitate dialogue between these areas, avoiding the dominance of a single Centre of Thought, reducing resistance and activating more conscious, authentic and coherent responses.
The Five Stages of Facing Change
One of the most effective frameworks for accompanying change is the transtheoretical model.
This model is also useful in Neuro Emotional Facilitation™, because each stage involves specific cognitive and emotional resources.
Precontemplation
The person is not yet aware of the need to change, or feels that the cost of change is too high.
My work as a coach: lowering amygdala reactivity, creating safety and increasing awareness.
This may include:
- reflecting on current habits through short-term memory;
- exploring past experiences through long-term memory;
- naming the emotions connected to change through affect labelling;
- listening to the voice of the Gut Brain: what is it trying to protect?
Contemplation
The person begins to consider facing a change, but feels divided.
Coaching supports critical thinking and vision.
Useful questions may include:
- What changes have already happened successfully?
- What emotions are associated with the behaviour you want to leave behind?
- What would change if everything went in the best possible way?
- What does the Heart Brain say about the desire to change?
Preparation
The client wants to act and needs clarity and structure.
In coaching, well-formed goals are created, activating the sensory dimension of the Cranial Brain.
Useful questions may include:
- How will you know that you have reached your goal?
- What will you see, hear and feel?
- What actions can you take in the next seven days?
- Is this goal coherent with what feels right at a gut level and authentic at an emotional level?
Action
Facing change requires energy.
This is the stage where fatigue and relapses are more likely to occur.
Coaching and NEF™ can help to:
- reframe negative thoughts;
- strengthen self-efficacy;
- support the brains through micro-rewards such as status, autonomy, connection and fairness;
- nourish motivation through the courage of the Heart and the determination of the Gut.
Maintenance
The new behaviour needs to consolidate over time.
Coaching and NEF™ support:
- the memory of successes;
- the connection between positive emotions and new habits;
- the creation of relapse-prevention strategies;
- the ongoing dialogue between the Three Brains: the rationality of the Mind, the Emotional Intelligence of the Heart and the instinctive strength of the Gut.
Conclusion
When we understand the functioning of the Cranial Brain, the Cardiac Brain and the Enteric Brain, we can generate deeper and more lasting change.
Through coaching, Neuro Emotional Facilitation™ and Three Brains Intelligence©™, old structures can be loosened and new ones can be built — structures that are more coherent with well-being, desire and personal evolution.
Facing change is not something that can simply be imposed.
It needs to be accompanied, facilitated, prepared and supported with respect, method and deep listening to all our inner intelligences.
Do you want to face change effectively, in alignment with the deepest part of yourself and without external “pollution” from others?
Start here.
Good change.